Skinny Love
by Uriah's Marlene
Summary: Skinny Love: When two people love each other, but neither knows about the other one. Lily likes James,James likes Lily. They spend most of their school lives pretending to hate each other. Why?
1. Chapter 1

His hand in mine. Our chests together our breaths mingling. Slowly,he presses his lips to mine and it is magical. The sparks from us literally fly and all I want is for us to be closer. I run my fingers through his perfectly messy hair and puts his arms around my waist, closing the miniscule gap that was separating us.

A moan escapes my lips as we pull apart.

Then I wake up.

Recently, my sleep has been full of nightmares. Demons and dark wizards and a baby in my arms screaming. This has been a pleasant break. Every night for the past six days, my mind has wandered off to this mysterious boy. I can always see him, but I can't really _see _him. Whoever it is enchanting my dreams remains a mystery. I only wish I knew who it was. His eyes are deep and glorious and his smile makes my heart do flips, so why don't I know who he is?

"Lil?" Alice asks. I turn to her and smile. "Get out of your bloody daydream and get dressed. Quidditch rehearsals are in an hour!"

I immediately hop out of bed. How can I have forgotten about Quidditch tryouts? I've been waiting three years to try for it. Of course, the rest of the team are less than desirable. Between James Potter thinking he's God's gift and Sirius Black's blatant disregard for the rules, both Gryffindor house and its common room were overpopulated with Jerks. Of course, Alice,Frank,Dorwenna,Dorcas and Remus make it all bearable. I've been dating Remus for just over a month, but I know it won't last. He doesn't challenge me. He's just as smart as I am, and cares about things Just as much as I do. We are compatible, so long as I am happy with dating myself. I am not.

I quickly get dressed. As it's a Saturday, I do not have to wear a school uniform, but I do have to wear a basic Quidditch uniform if I want to try out.

I brush my hair and quickly throw it into a bun. I take a moment to take in my looks. Blue eyes,pale skin and red hair, I'm not exactly the definition of perfect. I sigh at my reflection and run down the stairs towards the great hall for breakfast. None of the other girls were in the common room, and now none of them are here. Actually, the only person here was Sirius. I sat next to him and picked up a buttered slice of toast and an Apple.

"Hey, Evans. Ah, trying for the team I see? James isn't going to be overjoyed with that." He says,smirking.

"If he even remotely cares about his team then he'll push aside any...negative feelings he has for me and pick the best people for it." I say matter of factly.

"Whatever. Which position did you say you were trying out for again?" He asks, eating what looks like porridge.

"Chaser."

"Really, I'd say you're more of a keeper..." He thinks aloud.

"I may look like one but I can't play like one. I just hope I'm good enough."

"Lily Evans. In your entire life have you ever failed at anything? No. So I'm sure as hell certain you'll make the team okay?"

I blink a few times. Was Sirius Black nice to me without the intention of getting into my pants? Development. "Thanks Sirius!"

James sits next to Sirius,also eating an Apple. "Who's thanking whom for what?"

"Lily is thanking me for a great confidence boost. You know she's trying out for chaser,right? If she gets it, you guys will have to get along."

"Yeah,that's likely." I mutter under my breath. James shoots a look at me.

"If you're the best, you'll get it. If not,you won't. I may not take alot of things as Seriously as you,Evans,but when it comes to Quidditch,I do. I don't like you questioning that I would do anything to jeopardize us winning the cup this year,so please. Less with the sarcasm!"

Had he just scolded me? What,did he think I was, five?

"I'm not questioning your leadership skills James. I just pointed out that we don't have a great track record of getting on! God." I stand up and leave, walking towards the Quidditch pitch.

"Hey Lily! Take your skills with you, you'll need it after that!" Sirius calls from behind me. I will punch him one day.

"Okay, as this is my first year at being Quidditch captain, I have decided I would like for the whole team to try out again. The only people who are safe? Fabian and Giddeon. No beaters are needed." I hear a disheartened sigh and a few people leave the group.

"This,however means, I need two more chasers, a keeper and a seeker." James says, looking out among the crowd. I notice Sirius is scowling.

"So, um, Dorcas, Evans, Frank and Sirius. Up there. Padfoot,You can be goal,the rest of you,shoot. Whoever gets five balls in first, will make it to the next stage."

Turns out, I get the most balls in first. He asked Dorcas to stay behind at the end,meaning Frank had been cut.

By the end of the first stage, James decided he only needed to fill one more position - seeker. Although he hadn't yet told us who was playing what..

"Dorwenna and Lily, you will be trying out for seeker. Dorcas, you are Kepler from now on. Padfoot mate,you're still Chaser, along with Alice. Fabion and Giddeon, beaters. So, girls, get seeking."

James released the Snitch into the air. Fabian played for Dorwenna and Giddeon played for me. Whoever caught the snitch first got the position. Sirius was commentating on the floor.

"Aaaannd..they're off. G hits the bludger and it flies towards Dorw- wait, Fabian has batted it away from her and oh! Evans has caught sight of the snitch. She chasing ,chasing it. Oh no! The bludger is coming towards her. She extends her left arm and ahhh! She's caught the snitch." I didn't hear anything more as the bludger collided with my face.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry about the eye mix up. This is slightly AU that's why Giddeon and Fabian are here._

_:) -Mar._

Two days later, I wake up in hospital.

"Hey,Evans." James said. He is so strong by my bedside, peering over the latest issue of _Quidditch quirks. _His voice is dry and raspy, and when he removes the appear from his eyes,he looks tired.

"What are you doing here? Where is everyone, oh my God, I didn't get Seeker did I? Oh god, my one shot." I sit up, I can't believe I failed. I never fail.

"Woah, calm it Lily. You're okay. Everyone else is in their lesson. We've been on Lily duty since you got knocked out. It's my turn. Don't worry, you got it. You still caught it."

He reassures me. It's weird, his presence is strangely welcome. Well, for someone who I so strongly dislike.

"But... I, the bludger. It hit me. I... failed, how can I be..?"

"Giddeon failed. Not you. He had to retry out,of course. He's fine,still on the team. He was to busy ogling at ... someone. Anyway, how's your head?"

"Killing thanks for asking. I still can't believe you let me on the team..." My head is throbbing. I feel like Pac man is inside my head trying to eat its way out. A deep thunder rolls across my thoughts leaving me feeling weak and unable to see anything that isn't James.

"You were the best. My team will only have the best. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. When do I get discharged? I want to practice, I have so much homework to catch up. I wonder if Professor Flitwick needs me to do catch up..."

"So,you're okay I take it? Wonderful. I'll ask the nurse to see when you're being discharged."

I nod. James Potter? Arrogant jackals, extrodinaire. Being nice to me? Was he ill?

"Hello there Miss Evans." Madame Pomfrey says. She looks tired. "We can let you go now. Your friend, Mister Potter,has never left your bed side. I trust you'll allow him to take you to your dorm. You'll have to take medicine of course, and you've been excused from lessons for the rest of the week.

A WHOLE WEEK OFF SCHOOL?!

"Wait. What? He never left my bedside."

He comes back and shrugs. "Yeah,no biggie. C'mon, I've skipped a day of classes already. Let's get you back to the common room."

He wraps his arm around my waist and helps me walk towards the dormitory. We don't talk, I don't feel the need to, and apparently he doesn't either. He says the password to the door and we walk in.

Slowly, he helps me up the stairs.

"Oh thank God! Lily you're okay." Alice and Frank rush over to me, carrying me up the stairs and Into my room.

"Guys, my head was injured. Not my legs." I reason. They nod and put me down.

"So, Potter really stayed with me for two days?" I ask, hoping to get some information.

They both nod.."Yeah, when you fell he literally flew out and caught you before you hit the floor. It was really cool,actually. He got all worried. Honestly, Lil. All the blood had drained from your face and your body went cold. We genuinely thought you'd died or something. He wrote your parents straight away to let them know you'd been hurt. Stayed by your side and refused to move until you woke up. I don't even think he slept. The nurse asked him to leave. He wouldn't go. It was sweet, but we've all been worried about both of you. We think he blames himself for not moving the bludger. He's never been so protective." Alice says.

I smile at the though of James being so sweet. I am too embarrassed to say anything. "So. Did you hear I got seeker?"

They both nod. "Oh yeah. We're so proud."

"Well, I really don't need to sit on this bed any longer. I'm feeling fine actually. Tad hungry what time is it? Can we eat?"

Frank laughs. "It's just after five, we can eat."

We walk down the stairs into the common room. Sirius is in the room. James is asleep on the setee. Sirius has none of the amusement left in his eyes anymore. He looks pale, as if he's about to throw up.

"Hey,Evans. How you doing?"

"I'm alright, I guess. What's up?"

"My best friend just passed out after refusing to leave the side of a girl he supposedly hates for two days. What do you think is up?" He says. "I'm going to bed." Then he walks up the stairs.

Alice and Frank look at me. I think they expect me to say something. I don't.

"We're going to eat now, are you coming?"

I shake my head. "I'll be down soon, I want to make sure Sirius is okay." I lie.

They know I am lying. They nod anyway and leave hand in hand down the hall. I flop into an armchair as Remus walks in.

"Oh,thank god. Lily,I've been so worried." He says, running at me. Pulling me into a hug.

I hug back. This is it. "Remus, I want to break up. It's not that I don't like you, I do. You're just too much like me. We have OWLs this year and I don't want to neglect you."

He looks down, then at me. "Are you sure?"

I nod. "I'm sorry."

He smiles. "It's okay, I was kinda thinking the same thing."

He stands up "I was thinking of going to eat. I'll see you round Lily. Wotcher." He winks, leaving.

The common room is only James and I. I can hear the quiet movement of him breathing in and out. It is a peaceful sound.

The next instant, I am unsure of anything, other than the fact that I am moving towards him. I sit on the floor next to the sofa in front of the fire, where he is lying. Slowly, I move over and kiss him on the cheek.

"Thank you James. For everything. " I stand up,brushing myself off and walk towards the door. I am not sure,but as I look back at him, I swear I see him smile.

_Please review. _

_Please._


	3. Chapter 3

In my mind I am flying. Whipping around the Quidditch pitch so fast it hurts. I feel free and wild, and the look in James' eye makes me want to go faster.

In reality, I am in potions. I am sitting next to Severus, where I have sat since our very first lesson. He smiles at me, but is seriously concentrated on the potion. For the first time,I'm not paying attention in lessons. And I don't even care.

"Hey, Evans." I look up to see Sirius in front of me. "How's it by Snivellus?"

I tut at him but say Hi anyway.

"Hey, James is still asleep... He asked me to tell you that Quidditch practice is tomorrow night. And bring your A - game. He isn't ready for another accident."

He didn't wait for my reply, and I didn't give him one. I catch the eye of Remus, who is sitting next to Peter. Both are staring our direction. I look down instantly.

"Lily? Hello, hurry up?" Alice says, the next day. I grab her hand and we run slowly, towards the library. We have OWLs in six months. To some, it seems alot. To me, it's barely enough breathing time. Of course, I've been revising since third year.

As we walk into the library,we wave to the librarian, then duck behind a table as we see Remus and Dorwenna.

"Oh my Merlin. Their tongues are practically choking each other! You've been broken up, what? Three days?"

I look to her and nod. I can't believe her either. "I wondered why he wasn't bothered. What do we do?"

Alice looks at me and blinks. "We read of course. It's what we came here to do, we might as well do it."

I nod at her and skip off down the aisles,looking for something on DADA. The shelves here are packed higher than my head, and the books are filled with a glorious knowledge I yearn to wield from them. I stop in front of a book that says _Pureblood Families: A history of._

I pick it up, but I don't dare to open it here. I wonder who could be in it. I know Sirius' family will be. I know James' will be too. I wonder if their families are related somewhere. I pick up _Why not to trust a whomping willow _and _Cornish Pixies: An unseen threat. _I don't know why, but I love reading Hypotheses and proving them wrong. The one about the Cornish pixies seems a good place to start.

I quickly check them out,then look around for Alice. I notice all she's doing is scribbling furiously on a piece of paper.

I walk over to her,slowly,so she won't notice me. I notice she's written something to James on the letter. She notices I am there before I can read anything more.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm writing,why?" She sounds defensive. I know she is hiding something. I don't press it.

"Just wondering. Ready to go?" She bites her lip and nods. "Hey, can I see what you checked out?"

I give her the books and we walk to the Great Hall, needing to get lunch before Double charms this afternoon,not to mention Quidditch training tonight.

"You're reading pureblood history. Why?" Her eyes are gleaming like she knows something. I don't like it.

"I was just curious. I barely know anything on wizarding families." I am telling the truth,but by the look in her eyes, she doubts me.

"Let's eat." We sit down on the table, where Marlene, Dorwenna,James,Remus,Peter and Sirius are sitting. I sit between Marlene and Peter, across from James, who Alice sits next to.

She looks at me, not very discreetly and gives him the letter I saw her writing on. It kills me,Not knowing what was in the letter. James looks up to me then back at the letter. He scoffs and crumples the letter up and throws it off me.

"NONE OF YOU BE LATE TO PRACTICE."

"Ooh." Say Fabian and Giddeon, in perfect sync, "someone's on their period."

The boys at the table laugh. I roll my eyes.

Slowly, I uncrumple the letter:

_James, I know about Lily. I see the looks you give her. I see the smile you get every time her name is mentioned and I think you'd do better if you told her. _

_You know she gives you the looks too. I think that's why she broke up with Remus. James, for Merlins sake, tell her._

The letter doesn't say anything else.

"I'm confused,why'd he storm out?"

The others on the table exchange a glance I don't recognise.

"Because he likes you and won't admit it." Sirius said. "For the smartest girl in our year, you really are quite stupid."

"He does not like me!" I defend.

"Yes he does Lily. You like him,too." Marlene says.

I look around the table, everyone is nodding.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you for the reviews. The chapter was edited by I'm the girl that favours fire. You should check out her stories;)_

I walk,no storm, down to the Quidditch pitch. James is sitting on his broom,not moving. Just sitting. His broom is just five metres of the ground.

He sees me walking towards him and lowers the broom.

"Lily, I need to-"

"No. Shut up. Listen to me for a moment. Okay, give years we've been in this school. I've never done anything to you. I didn't ask you to like me, I just want to be able to walk passed you without being shot daggers. For godsake. Actually no,tell me, what did I do? Why are you so sweet and protective of me when I'm awake? And then such a,a, test when I'm awake. Arghhh. Is it because I'm muggleborn? Why James,why?"

James looks slightly amused, which makes me want to slap him.

"Evans, I don't hate you. I don't particularly like you,but-"

"Why?"

"Because, you're too uptight. You're scared to break the rules and have fun or live. And as for you being a mud- muggle born, no I don't care. My best friend is from one of the oldest wizarding families, and that's not why I'm friends with him at all. I don't care about your blood,or your brains or your face. I just don't like little mis perfect. It's a facade and everyone can see that underneath you're just an insecure little girl. Get on your broom and get ready for practice."

I don't say anything else,but I mount my broom and fly as high as I can will myself to go.

Where my tears will look like rain drops if they reach the floor.

In the common room, I sit on a sofa, I am the only person in the room.

It is midnight.

Am I really so uptight that I've become repulsive. Is what I've always taken to be my most endearing trait, the real reason I found it hard to make friends as a child?

I hear footsteps, running fast.

_"Lumos." _I mutter. The common room cascades into blackness as I feel a figure sit beside me.

"Who's that?" The figure asks.

I panick,hearing the voice makes me certain that If I reveal my identity, they'll know why I have insomnia.

"Alice. Who's that?" I reply.

"James. Why are you down here so late?"

"Couldn't sleep." I say, hoping my voice doesn't give me away.

"Me either."

The two of us sit in silence for a moment. I turn to him slowly. "Why?"

"I think I said some things I didn't mean. And now I feel guilty. I think that's why." He says. He sounds stressed.

"Is this about Lily? Look, she's smart,I'm sure she knows you didn't mean anything. She probably wouldn't even care. I mean... there are people it would hurt coming from,but not you." I gulp,pretending to be Alice.

Even in the dark, I see his eye brows raise. "Like who?"

"You know,Remus." I say,gulping again. "Or Sirius."

I almost hear him snort. Involuntarily, I lean in and hug him. I'm slightly shocked as he hugs back,but I shake it off.

"I'm going to bed. Night... Alice." He says, slowly walking towards the stairwell, expecting me to say something. I don't.


End file.
